Keep Moving Forward

Life hasn’t stopped being crazy for me lately, and that’s probably why I’ve been terrible and neglecting this blog. But, while I’ve been absent around here, I’ve been fully present and moving forward in life.

In April, I bought a house. In May, I graduated from college with my bachelor’s degree after seven LOOOOOONG years. And in June, I took a plunge and started a new job after being at the local newspaper for around 4.5 years. It was just time. And since a lot of other life changes were going on at the same time, I figured why not?

Change is scary. It’s often what keeps people from moving forward. While I had been unhappy with my job for a while, it was comfortable and familiar, and thus, hard to leave. I always say the worst part of a new job is the feeling that you don’t know anything – that everyone around you is an expert and, as the new person, you have no idea what is going on or how anything works. Personally, that’s my least favorite part of starting a new job because there’s something embarrassing about not knowing. But, after a few weeks, you learn and eventually, things aren’t so new and scary anymore. I always wish I could fast-forward through the first month of a new job to when I’ve got things down and feel less lost, but unfortunately, that’s not how life works.

Leaving the paper was bitter-sweet. I grew to love Van Wert and loved telling the stories that were important to the community, and I honestly believe that no one will do a better job than I did at doing that because I cared far more than anyone should about a job.

For me, it wasn’t just a job. Journalism is something else; it’s a service––a dedication to people who don’t even know you’re dedicated to them (in fact, they are convinced you’re actually their enemy). And if you’re in the news industry just because you think it will be fun or easy, you’ll have a real shock coming to you. Sometimes it’s fun, but most of the time it’s not and I wouldn’t consider any of it easy.

Every day you must remind yourself that there are two people inside of you: you and a journalist. They aren’t totally one and the same because you have to separate yourself from your feelings, opinions, and beliefs and let the journalist do the work. That is impossible for some people, but I like to think I did a pretty good job.

While my current title is “Multimedia Journalist,” I don’t cover THAT sort of news anymore. Instead, I write about the “good stuff” my company is doing like opening new locations, winning awards, and adding new selections to our menu. It’s the fluffy, happy stuff I wished I could only cover at the paper. No more accidents, fires, or trials. That’s one of the many things I won’t miss at the paper.

While my new job certainly has many perks over the paper, I struggled with making the decision to leave and still, at times, question if I did the right thing––not because working at the paper was fantastic or because the new job isn’t great, but because, like a battered spouse, even when abused you hope that things will eventually change for the better. So, with inflated expectations, you decide to stay.

After four years as editor, I know things would never change at the newspaper, so it was time to move on. No raise in three years, no real management, no plan for the future, no reward for doing good or punishment for doing bad, and only told about how much money the place is losing constantly… it made the decision to leave, not easy, but easier.

These days, I spend my time working on growing in my career and personally, and that’s the opportunity I’ve been given. For the past few months, I’ve been working on the new house, which came with a flock of chickens. I love my chickens. They are such interesting, kind birds with loads of personality. I’ve also spent time with my dogs, cats, and plants—making sure they all continue to thrive. Maybe most importantly, I’ve spent time on myself and making sure I thrive. This year I’ve lost 30 pounds, stopped taking sleeping medication at night, and continued my vegetarian journey. I hope to never stop pushing myself forward, and I’m proud of how much I’ve accomplished this year.

For the first time in a long, long time, I’m happy with my place in life. I’ve got a good job, a good home, good people around me, and life is just good. At the same time, much of it can feel like a lot.

Having so many life changes thrown at me at one time has been overwhelming but in life, we must be willing to roll with the punches or we risk being stuck in a rut. If you refuse to change your life when you know you’re not currently living the best version of it possible, then you’ll wake up one day full of regret and anger—anger for what you should have, could have done, and regret for not just taking the plunge.

In interviews, I always dread the “Where do you see yourself in five years” question. I usually make up some sort of pleasing answer but the real truth is that I have no idea. I can tell you that as soon as tomorrow I’d LOVE to be a part-time stay-at-home book writer/ part-time traveling, hiking, dog blogger, but that’s unlikely. Instead, I take one day at a time and roll with the waves­—just seeing where life takes me. I suppose moving along on waves is at least better than being stuck on a rock.