It’s been a long week, but at least it’s Friday, I guess. I’ve had a full-week of non-stop news coverage. At the same time, I fought vigorously all week for the rights and safety of my coworkers (at least I won that battle this morning). I haven’t been able to sleep right in quite some time because my heart hurts from trying to explain to people why they should care about other people. To top it off, this morning I found out Caesar has Cushing’s Disease (more on that in another post). But the real proverbial cherry on top was when I was attacked by a family member about how the media is not essential and how we are basically the cause of all the panic (keep in mind, I run a small town newspaper).
I worked so hard to do my job quickly and factually and have not been able to catch a break this week, so the words hurt. I took them personally. After an angry phone call, I cried. I broke down. I screamed into my shirt. I can’t win today. You have those days sometimes.
After letting it all out into Jeter’s side, I pulled myself together and I did the only think I knew how – I began writing. So here we are.
The news is scary. Heck, I am the news, and it can be scary for me. As journalists, we are constantly exposed to the worst and the best of things. We are always on high alert and there is not much time to stop and take care of yourself, especially in a time of crisis.
I am always dedicated to doing my job factually and right. I love my job deeply, so it’s gut-wrenching when I hear members of my community expel distrust for the media or when people take their First Amendment rights for granted. But what hurts the very most is seeing how many people simply just don’t care if others die. Because of my job, I run our social media account, and I see first-hand how humans can be when given a platform they can hind behind. As an empath, this keeps me up at night, it gives me even more anxiety, puts my stomach in knots, and it makes my heart hurt.
I’ve always been of the opinion that if something kills or harms even one single person, then that is one single person too many. Each of our lives are valuable and have meaning. I write the news, and I’ve worked all week to talk to people who can educate the community on the real facts (not the “facts” you see on Facebook). I have educated professionals on record telling me this is worse than the flu, yet still, the community screams back, “I know more than you! This is the less harmful than the flu!”
How do you educate people who don’t want to listen? How do you make people care? How do you inform people when they think you are their enemy and trying to scare them? I literally don’t know, and this is just one of contributors of my Friday night break down.
“You can’t make people care.” I’ve written this in several posts, yet I still try and I try. Maybe this is another symptom of an empath. We care too much and wish that others would too. By trying to empathize, teach, and be gentle with people, we hope they will do the same. Unfortunately, not all do. You can’t teach something to someone who doesn’t want to learn.
Regarding the coronavirus, whether the number is 10 percent or 1 percent death rate, it’s too many. It’s not up for us to decide who lives and who dies so that a non-essential business can stay open. We should all do our best follow the rules and protect others. I know this is hurting our businesses, especially the small businesses (it’s hurting my paper BADLY), but I’ve always been a big believer that lives are more important than money. Plus, if we don’t do these shut downs and practice social distancing, there may not be many to shop at these businesses when it’s all over anyway.
I’ve heard people say, “If it’s my time to go, it’s my time to go” and that’s all good and well, but you don’t play in traffic hoping that you won’t get hit. Not only that, but by not taking precautions for yourself you are exposing others. It’s selfish to allow yourself to be the decider of another person’s fate.
As a community, we will get through this but we have to do it together. We HAVE to care about each other. Please, please, please allow an empath one night’s rest and just freaking care about other living beings.