“Relax.” That’s something I’m not very good at. Over the weekend, I had a lot on my “To-Do List.” Do you ever have so much to do that you decide to do nothing at all because it’s all so overwhelming? That’s sorta how my weekend went. I kept putting things off and the next thing I knew, it was Sunday night.
On Saturday, I took Caesar on a long walk, cuddled with Jeter, covered an event for work, and spent time with my sister who lives an hour away. I told myself that I would study for my Latin exam, finish my Multi-Media project, and write two stories for work on Sunday. Sunday morning came, and I felt frustrated as I tried to learn how to create a voice recorded Public Service Announcement for a school project. After about two hours of Googling how to use the software I needed, I finally had a recorded PSA. Wow! What a workout. Time for a nap!
I laid down on the couch under my weighted blanket. Soon, Caesar joined me. I thought, “I can’t move now. I don’t want to disturb the dog.” So I fell in and out of sleep for the next few hours. Before I knew it, it was almost 5 p.m.! I still had a lot on my To-Do List that hadn’t been checked off.
I spent the rest of the evening getting some work done, grocery shopping, attending my monthly Humane Society meeting, and trying to finish projects. But at the end of the night, I still had a big list that was unfinished.
As the evening came to a close, I found myself lying awake in bed until 2 a.m. on Monday morning because I had napped the day away. I felt guilty that I had not gotten everything done. I had felt overwhelmed going into the weekend with so much I needed to accomplish, but while lying awake at 2 a.m. (which was very frustrating), I felt even more overwhelmed knowing I had run out of time.
When I start to have these emotions, I like to take to Google to find out if others feel this way. Turns out, I am not alone (as I expected). There’s a lot of us that use procrastination as a tool to combat stress but then end up feeling more stressed because we procrastinated. When I do this, I always end up asking myself: “Why am I like this?” I can’t answer that question. I suppose, like many others, the best way for me to combat stress is to take a nap – to shut down when I feel overwhelmed.
On Monday, after I had taken my Latin exam and felt pretty good about it and after I had turned in my school project and completed my writing for work, I thought about how I actually wasted a lot of my weekend worrying about getting things done. It turns out, everything got done despite my Sunday nap.
Many of us worry too much about things that really don’t matter. I often find myself worrying about due-dates and not having enough time. I work about work, about getting things done on time, and I worry about my “To-Do List.” But, for as long as I can remember, I’ve always accomplished everything on my To-Do List by the time it needed done. So why do I sacrifice my time and health by worrying so much? I know at the end of the day the answer is “anxiety.” I’m full of it, but I don’t want to be, and I’m trying to be more mindful.
As I began to think about how I “wasted” my time by napping on the couch with my dog, I thought how it actually was quite a nice nap, and it’s not often Caesar wants to lay with me, so it was nice to spend some time with my dog relaxing. My Sunday would have been much better spent enjoying the nap with my dog rather than regretting it for no reason. I read a lot about being “mindful” and living in the moment, which I think is hard for a lot of us, but if we could master it, I think we’d all feel a lot less stressed and a little more relaxed.
I think many of us, myself included, need to enjoying doing nothing a little more. We don’t need to always be so busy, or at least I keep trying to remind myself of that. I’m hoping that one day I can live in the moment, worry a little less, and try to be, overall, a bit more mindful.